(2016-08-26) Pie - The Other White Meat
Pie - The Other White Meat
Summary: Bob The Hydra Agent + Pie + Lumberjack = YouTube Glory!
Date: 2016-08-26
Related: None
NPCs: Mark, the lumberjack
Scene Runner: NA
Social/Plot: Plot


(2016-08-26) Pie-The other white meat

* Mary's Diner — Lower Manhattan – Early Morning **

The diner is packed this morning with most of the seats filled with various patrons. John is in the corner booth with his back against the wall. A spread of various books with inserted post-it notes and notepads are laid out in a grid pattern over half of the available table area. A cup of coffee and three uneaten slices of key lime pie, each on their own saucer, are sequenced along the edge closest to isle. He leans on his elbow with his fingers in his hair, tapping on a yellow and black, "Legal System for Dummies" book that remains closed. He asks the waitress for a refill on his coffee and another piece of key-lime pie. John is trying to pay for the table space as he works.

It's at this point that a man in a lime green jumpsuit with two bug-eye style lenses and a leather harness system covered in a seemingly ridiculous number of pouches walks in through the main doors of the diner. He's wearing a small jacket over the coat and a pair of pants to try and blend in but neon yellow gloves and the matching neon yellow boots still stand out quite a bit as he sets down to order a cup of coffee.

Oddly enough almost no one in the diner seems to pay him any mind as he takes an open seat at the counter. "Morning Mel, I'll have the Coffee, preferably in a cup this time." Said with a bit of a friendly smile under his mask, his chin nose and mouth still visible despite the mostly form covering jumpsuit.

John’s eyes become very wide as he notices the man walk in. <What is wrong with these people? Is that some sort of lab uniform? Perhaps he is an electrical technician or mechanic…> Whatever he is, he has John's attention for the moment. He needs a break from cramming all the dry data he has been collecting over the last few days. If he is a lab technician it could be useful to know what labs are in the area. Perhaps he could find some kind of job working under the table for one. John waits a few minutes for Bob's coffee to arrive and for him to settle in a bit. Then he stands up and walks over to the man and gently taps on the countertop adjacent to him, "Hello."

The woman referred to as Mel flips over his cup and pours him a nice tall glass of coffee. Her expression somewhat bored as she takes his order. She doesn't even wait for conversation before moving back to the other clientele as if he hardly even exists.

Bob lets out a bit of a muttering sigh. "Gee thanks Mel, how's the kids, that's great, the wife's doing fine." Speaking quietly to himself as John sneaks up on him startling the poor man who just about jumps out of his seat letting out a bit of a surprised yelp. "Gah, don't sneak up on me like that." He scrambles back trying to wipe up the coffee that had spilled across the table, and also wiping the sleeve of a rather large man who's dressed like a lumberjack with a massive beard now looking down towards him. The eyes behind his mask going a bit wide before he calmly and quickly with a smile tries to clean it up. '

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." -Steel, plastic, lead, brass, copper, and gunpowder- John's eyes instinctively dart to the exact location of Bob's pistol and lingers there for a moment too long. He looks at the lumberjack, then back to Bob and he slowly takes a step back, "I just wanted to ask you a question. I'll take care of you coffee." Before the big man can do anything John takes a twenty dollar bill directly from his pants pocket and places it next to the lumberjack's dinner plate.

Bob holds up a hand over his head to block the incoming strike that he's half expecting to be struck. It's his training kicking in causing him to brace for impact before the 20 is sat down and Bob relaxes somewhat. A low sigh escapes his lips as he runs the back of his hand across his mask as if wiping the sweat from it. "Well good, because I thought I'd have to show some people whose boss." Suddenly trying to puff up his muscles and look tough.

The lumberjack, ‘Mark’, flips his fork onto his plate with a clatter, "What the hell did you just say to me litt…"

John quickly cuts him off. "Hey friend," his accent is some regional dialect Bob can't quite place, "Why don't you come have a seat at my table. I need to talk to you for a second." John's head is bouncing back and forth between the lumberjack and Bob. He takes another step deeper into the isle, obviously not wanting to stand between the two men.

Still keeping puffed up like some sort of bird trying to intimidate Bob makes a rather sudden and hasty retreat trying to play it off cool as he practically runs away from the bar moving with all the grace and poise of a wounded gazelle as he takes his coffee along.

"Sure, I can deal with him later in the parking lot." Bob says quiet as a mouse trying to avoid the scary man with the massive muscles hearing it sounding just above a squeak of a voice. He coughs into his hand before sliding down into the seat far away from that front counter making rather quick time.

Another twenty comes out of John's pocket to be quickly dropped next to the previous one and John holds his hands up in a delicate pause at the nearly broiling lumberjack. John slowly shakes his head, lowers his hands and walks back to his booth and sits down. "Would you like a piece of Pie?" John motions and offers. He thought to himself, <Is he one of those costumed vigilantes he was googling about? Bug Man or Dare Devil? Do they really operate this openly? How do I get myself out of this?>

"Sure, I don't see why not." Bob offers with a bit of a smile, before sliding over one of the plates to himself. "So, what is it you wanted to talk about?" Bob offers with a bit of a smile already digging into the piece of pie before the offer of which slice is available for the taking. He seems to be enjoying himself quite a lot just eating the slice of pie.

He doesn't even notice the burly lumberjack kick away his stool, and start stomping over behind the HYDRA agent. There's a pause of silence in the diner as Bob shovels food into his face only to suddenly find himself slammed face first into the slice of food by the meaty hamhawk of a hand belonging to the lumberjack. The early morning millennials break out their camera phones to record this comical character getting pie-faced, most thinking it a prank or stunt.

John bolts out of his booth seat and slips back up against the wall. Watching intently, seemingly waiting on something. <Ah great. Just great!>

"What about the back parking lot you little S*#%. I don't give a crap about you’s and your freaky little costume. You’s needs to be taken down a peg!" Mark, the lumberjack, grabs Bob by the scruff of his collar, drags him out of the booth while standing him up and spins him around forcibly. A long distance haymaker is in the works - Target: Bob's two front teeth.

Face still implanted in the slice of cake bob mutters just barely audible as he clears out his mouth sending bits of the delicious pie object going out in multiple directions. "Thank HYDRA for plastic eye coverings." It's hard to make out with all the food but it's his focus for the moment before he's suddenly ripped right out of his seat by the collar of his suit. "Ow ow ow, uncle uncle. Collar bone, that hurts."

Bob struggles hard as he can under the force of being dragged along. "If you were just four foot shorter this'd be the other way round." He closes his eyes tightly as he readies for the impact to the face. Yet the ground is a fickle mistress and with so much wasted pie is it any wonder that some of it has gotten under foot?

The haymaker started way back in Florida, and by the time it reached Atlantic City it has generated quite a bit of momentum. Somewhere around Philadelphia it developed lens flairs and particle effects with a black screen. The epic guitar solo queued in when it started hooking around Liberty Island curving back in. Mark was pissed and this epic punch was going to be it! Swooooooosh… Closer and closer!

John saw it play out at the particle level. There wasn't anything he could do to stop the impending doom train and broken jaw except - John jumped forward and shoved Bob hard at just the right time causing him to veer forward wildly off balance. The massive haymaker landed not on Bob's face but the dense cranial plate. The difference in positioning and angles helped to soften the blow.

Mel shouted, "You boys take that outside! Not in Here! I'll call the cops!"

Taking the hit to the top of his costume Bob finds himself falling down towards the ground. There's a small moment where he looks around mid-fall the world seeming to go slow motion as he sips on the splattered pie across the floor, before slamming down into the ground hard. He does the hard task of trying to trip the lumbering lumberjack with his body.

Mark trips and falls knee first onto Bobs back and then teeters over to catch himself against the ground with the palms of his hands. "What the hell is this happy horse SH*" He rolls over to his tailbone, turning his back to John and starts kicking Bob with all his might. "You are the stupidest mother F#$ I have ever seen!"

John makes a mad scramble the throw all of his books and paperwork into his backpack before putting it on, snapping it up, and he goes back to watching this fight unfold. He is scared. The costumed guy has a gun, and the lumberjack doesn't know it. This could go south very - very quickly.

"Oww" Bob groans quietly after that first impact of a knee to the back. He pauses for a moment in pain trying to scramble out of the way onto to get a knee right to the gut, sending him skidding across the floor into the feet of a couple trying to ignore the fighting going on.

Shaking and fumbling with himself Bob comes back to standing. He holds up a finger as if about to give a confident retort but in the moment he just throws his finger down stating firmly. "Thank you" Still somewhat out of sorts as his head swims from the force of the impact into the side of the bench and with the man’s foot.

He goes to draw his gun like a true villain, put this man out of both their miseries. When in doubt, good, bad, stupid? He's the guy with the gun. Or rather he was before reaching down to quick draw the weapon and put a few rounds into the thug only to completely fumble the gun sending it back down to the ground. He falls back to the ground trying to grab for it but being covered in pie filling makes it a bit difficult to keep a hold of.

[OOC] Bob the Hydra Agent - "Fastest gun in the diner."

"Pussy Piece of SH&*! Draw A gun on me?" Mark hops up to his feet to lunge forward, only himself, to slip on one of the many pieces of pie that had scattered on the ground. The saucers clanked as his trajectory fell short of what was intended and the lumberjack head-butts into the side of Bob's neck. He flails and tries to take control of Bob's arms.

John hops up on the table and gets as close to the window as possible, looking to run down the isle of booths to make a quick exit. The rest of the restaurant gives a near unanimous scream and the patron adopt herd mentality and start bolting for the exit. Mel dives behind the counter and three distinct key beeps are heard, followed by a fourth.

"Uh… Hail HYDRA" Bob shouts suddenly once he's able to barely get back a grip on his pie covered gun. He's trying to make as graceful a retreat as possible from this battle, as he slips and falls again on the pie right down knocking himself in the head with the lumberjacks arm. The pass through sending him towards the door as he's almost trampled trying to scurry off out of the building.

John stays in place as the masked - whatever - bolts out the door. He himself decides to head out the back door after Marks runs after Bob. What the HELL was wrong with this reality!

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